Ahoy, ye strange persons. I be the ruler of this here domain. Not really. Ye be calling me Schlaepfer (shlep-fur) . My casual-ish name be David. Welcome to my---BLISTERING BARNACLES! I haven't yet told ye persons anything about meself! Argh! Ah, well, I be The Captain Schlaepfer. I be weird and funny and weird. I be likin' ta film movies and Tech-y stufffys. Thanks much for listenin' to my random ramblin'. Now go back and read the whole thing in a pirate voice. I t be soundin' pretty cool.